The Joke of Life
by Sheriffmalkin
Summary: A twist on the joker's origin story written by Alan Moore in 1988. Its a first person story wrote from the jokers perspective showing those tragic events that lead up to the infamous clown prince of crime as we know him today. Its full of hart break, tragedy and even a little incite into the jokers mind. With graphic descriptions and a well orchestrated narrative its a fun read.


The Joker Origins

( 5 YEARS AGO )

I hear the deep raw from the other side of the curtains. The raw of killers, thefts, crime lords and many other degenerates that have made their nests in the slums of the grate Gotham City. It was Saturday night. A prime time for the owners of the High Stakes, a back ally restaurant where I happened to be performing tonight. The raw comes once again and my stomach tumbles and turns with excitement and fear. The curtains open and I step nervously out onto the stage. A beam of light hits my eyes and I'm blinded. I regain my focus and take a peak. What was a second, a quick glance seemed like eternity. I look over at my so called customers. Beer bottles, ale even food decorate each and every table in sight and hookers litter the room doing what they do best. The cheers start to collapse my ears and adrenalin begins to fuel my heart. I take a deep breath and my lungs fill with the hot heavy air of the restaurant. The smells of tobacco, weed and even a little crack burrow their way up my nostrils inviting me to give them a try. At this point my mind starts to race through all reasons that have lead me to stand in this exact spot. What I didn't know it that I had started a chain of events that would change my life forever. I take a second breath and begin.

"What bone will a dog never eat?" I say in a nervous jittery voice. "Anyone?". "Anyone at all?, no?". I stand both legs firmly planted on the ground and I say as I giggle " A Trom-bone". "HA HA HA HA" I scream with laughter unaware to myself that I'm the only one laughing. I look back up and cold hard stares are fixed on me, then it starts. The howling of the "BOO's" cascade over the entire restaurant and then the game of dodge ball begins. Bottles fly through the air targeted on me like a Tomahawk missile. I manage to dodge a few but eventually one was bound to hit me. As I get my footing I feel the sharp pain from the side of my head followed by a tide wave of excruciating discomfort. I'm back on the floor, laying on my side wishing for this nightmare to come to an end. In the blur that is my vision I see my wife. She in my eyes is the perfect woman. Her beauty could make all the men around her snap their necks in her direction and her sassy womanly charm could concur empires and topple civilisations. She is the wisest person I have ever met and with all the beauty and smarts that she possesses, she decided to choose me a good for nothing peace of shit like me. She chose someone who had no ambition in life and could not even sustain a simple job and his only passion, the one thing he cares most about, he is God awful at it. Even with all these flaws that have put a massive burden on my life and hers, she chose me. She runs onto the battle ground and pulls me off the stage. She stands me up and we walk for the back door. Outside I fall to the ground and let out a scream so loud that it seems like a blur of noise echoing its way through the back allies of Gotham. I turn to my wife, the snot dripping out of my nose and running down my face and tears fill my eyes ready to burst like a bottle of shook up soda. " I'm scared" I say "I'm scared for our baby this is no place to bring up a child ". She turns to me places her hands on my shoulders and kisses me. I feel her lip against mine and it's like a force has been created, like the opposite sides of a magnet which can't be separated once connected. Her smell is so pungent and so familiar that it takes over my senses like catnip calling to a cat. I realise that she is the ying to my yang and I would cease to function if she was to leave me. The kiss ends. She looks directly into my eyes and my hart races. She whispers "times like these show people for who they really are and above all show you if they are committed to something". "I love you". "I will always love you and we will get through this like always". "Together". She helps me up and not a word is spoken for the rest of the night.

ACE Chemicals, the dam shit hole where I work. Been here for years now and there's no sigh of me getting out. My job is chemical processor. It sounds fancy but all I do is push buttons and count the hours till I go home. There is a green tint to the place, like a shadow covering me everywhere I go. It's hard to breath in the containment suit. Your breath fogs up the already hard to see through glass. The suit is air tight and as red as blood itself. It covers your entire body. The point of it is to stop the concoction of chemicals steering around in the air from getting inside. The guys at work call it the red hood because its hard as hell to see who your talking too. It's like a one way mirror, you can only see out. There's stories of guys who's suits ripped and the concoction annihilated there body bleaching their skin and putting them to rest is a nice way to say they died. These are just stories. I've never see it happen myself. The alarm rings my ears and my shift is done. Jimmy, my one and only friend asks me to stop off at the bar on the way home as always. Jimmy is a big guy, tall and good looking every girls dream. His nose is slightly bent to one side probably from a fight. He is my oldest friend. We met at ACE Chemicals and he was the only one who spoke to me. All the other jackasses would make fun of me day in day out and make my life a nightmare like when I was at school. One day three guys take my phone in the changing rooms claimed its theirs, what was I supposed to do I had never even been in a fight before when this huge guy sees what's going on he follows them around to their lockers. I here a few bangs and screams and one of the men come waddling back with my phone, oh and a broken nose. The man who helped told me he was called Jimmy and we hit it off from there. He asked if I wanted to go the bar after work and we have done it every day since. I try to hide the fact that I do this but my wife always smells the liquor on me. I decontaminate and we head off.

We arrive at the bar, The Ducks Mouth it's called. I walk in and see the same faces as always. We sit down and the TV is turned up "the batman has been spotted stopping a mugging down an ally way in Gotham. A warrant is still out for his arrest and any leads leading to his capture will be rewarded" the news reader says. "what you think of that Batman" Jimmy says. "some guy who goes around at night beating on criminals and not one person has even got a real glimpse of him, must have had a really bad day" I say. I go to order and Jimmy stops me and offers to buy. I try to save money where I can so I'm not going to pass on this opportunity. He orders two double whiskies, five dollars a glass!. "holly shit what's up with you?" I say surprised. "things are looking up for me" he says. "why?". "I'm getting out, I've found some guys who are looking for a bit of help and their paying me very handsomely, all I gotta do is help them procure a certain item from a certain off limits place, if you know what I mean". I sit there a shock on my face like I've just seen God himself and I can't help but feel anger just pure rage deep in my stomach. "how dare you leave me in this shit hole by myself how dare you!" Jimmy take a sip of his drink and does not answer he then gets up and walks towards the exit. "I didn't want it to go this way, goodbye old friend". That's the last time we ever spoke. A few hours pass and I stumble out the bar barely holding myself together, the hate still burning me, then a thought crosses my mind. I walk over to the pay phone and call 911.

On my way home I can't help but feel regret after all I did just dam my only friend to a life in Black Gate. How could I do that, if I were in his shoes I would have done the same thing. I approach my apartment and I feel something. Something wrong. I know I locked the door and my wife won't be back from work till 10pm. I hear something moving around in there and then muffled voices. " I know he lives here I just know it", comes from one voice, "well you best be right or the boss ain't gonna be too happy" says another. I begin to panic who are these people I only heard two are there more? There was no time for this now she'll be back any minute. I find the last ounce of strength backed by my drunkenness and waltzes right in. This was the wrong choice. Two shadows appear out of no ware and throw me up against a wall. Then the punching starts. I shouldn't feel anything I'm too drunk to feel but that doesn't stop the pain. Each blow feels like a viper striking and retreating each time doing a little more damage and hurting a little bit more. Then it stops. I whisper just catching my breath " who are you?, what do you want?". Then a deep dark voice reply's "It don't matter who we are the only thing that matters is that you went and busted Jimmy and now we have no one to do the job". "what job?" I say. "the job you know the one he told you about breaking into ACE Chemicals dummy" he says. "I don't understand" I say puzzled. "well you got rid of our guy so we need a new one, see this is where you fit in, be there at 10pm tomorrow or we will be paying your pretty wife a visit". They drop me to the floor and walk out the front door. What choice do I have I can't let them hurt her. She can't know either it would destroy her if she knew I was doing this but it's to keep her safe and that's all that matters. I hear her walk into the apartment and her scream echoes through the rooms as she sees me. I finally feel safe.

As the hour approaches I feel a thick lump in my throat. I stare at the clock on the wall as time slows down with every tick getting closer to 10pm. A cold sweat starts to run down my head and it runs over my lips and I taste the salt on my tong. My wife's at work again that'll make it easy to slip out and get this over and done with. My phone rings and startles me. I look at the number and don't recognise it, I know its them. I pick up the phone and answer it. "you aren't bailing out on us are you" a man's voice says. "no I was just about to leave now" I say. "good that's good cuz guess who I'm looking at right now and if you don't go through with it you know what happens!" he screams down the phone to me. The phone clicks and the call ends. I walk out the front door and for some reason feel like this is the end.

I arrive at ACE Chemicals and the rain hasn't stopped all night. Shadows cover each and every corner of the chemical plant. I feel like eyes are watching me where ever I go. I stop and think for a second if what I'm doing is the right thing and in that moment I think of her. Everything I do is for her. I would give anything to see her smile right now once more. And for a moment I feel safe and then I hear the same voice that was on the phone "Over here". I snap my neck in the direction of the voice and see five guys standing there. They were all around the same height maybe one was a little taller. All of their faces were cover making it nearly imposable to understand them. They all dressed the same, long trench coats and were all wearing those hats you see in those detective movies. All you could see where their eyes. Their cold dead eyes. "you ready" one of them says. "what do I gotta do?" I whisper. "your job is real simple, all you gotta do is go into the Chemical processing room and switch the generators into overload while the rest of us steel the chemicals we need, ok?" another says. "that will throw the processor into over drive making the chemicals react with the oxygen, God knows what that'll do!" I shout in a panic. One of the men whisper back "keep your voice down man that's the idea, ACE Chemicals burns down and we get away Scott free HAHA! Of course you'll be paid handsomely for all your help". I keep telling myself it's for her all of it and then the nerves kick in. My stomach tumbles and turns like a circus performer summersaulting through the air, like a bird flying in an impossible wind struggling to hold on , but it's too strong the acrobat falls, the bird falls and I vomit. I feel empty now physically and mentally drained of what makes me, me and in my delusional state I say "let's do this" and I take my final walk towards ACE Chemicals.

I split off from the group and begin. I enter the decontamination room and put the Red Hood suit on for the last time. God I hate that nickname. I take a deep breath and the hot heavy air fills my lungs. It feels like hells burning me from the inside out. I open the door to the processing room and blast of heat burns my eyes even through the suit. I'm breathing heavy now and with every exhale my breath fogs up the helmet and I can't see a thing. I just manage to find my way to the computer console and begin to increase the generators output. As I press activate on the key board an alarm starts to scream out of now ware. The red light from the alarm completely blinds me and I start to panic. My breathing increases rapidly and my head starts to spin like a car wheel. I have no idea what to do and I want out. I feel a sharp pinch in my lower back and I know what has happened. My face begins to feel numb and my lips start to burn. The chemical concoction found its way into my suit and I know it's the end. I'm coughing hard now and I taste blood on my fiery lips. All hope is lost I've heard the stories I know this is the end and I feel calm, I'm ready to go, but in that moment in my state of clarity I see him. My eyes are now open for the first time.

I rub my hands against the helmet not caring about the rip currently causing me so much agony but it does nothing. The room is getting hotter and in the corner of my eye I see flames. It's like hell fire is burning around me and through the flames he walks towards me and I walk away. The flames don't even harm him it's like there little puppy's jumping and scratching at his ankles. The fog clears around my eyes and I finally get a good look at him and my heart skips a beat. It's like a shadow is drifting towards me taller than the tallest man but more beast like than anything I've seen before. The spikes protruding from his head nearly touch the roof. There's no emotion on his face, like fear itself it frightened to go near him and there is a dead silence in the atmosphere like time itself has stopped to take a cowardly look at him. The shadowy figure cascades over my face and through the shadow I see a hand reaching out to me. The hand is everlasting and ever long with fingers stretching right up to my face. It looks unnatural something nature couldn't have fathomed making. Its irregular angles blast towards you seeming as though is going to rip the soul right from your body. I step back one more time. I finally get one more look at him the snarling bat out of hell itself the embodiment of fear coming to take me. I'm innocent I think to myself as the hand reaches out for me. Then out of nowhere I feel as light as a feather like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I'm free falling through the air without a care in the world. The last thing I see through those eyes were the swirling vats of death dragging me straight to hell. But hell spat me back out for one more round.

I'm lying flat on my back and I'm changed. Something is different about me, something wrong. I feel like an exposed nerve out in the open being attacked by all the elements. I sit up and I cough up some strange liquid that kind of tasted like chalk. I try to stand and my legs fail me and I fall flat on my face. That's when I see the monster pretending to be me. I rub my hands against my face and it's not makeup. I rub and I rub and it feels like my hands are sand paper clawing and destroying my face. I take one more peak and see the new me. My face was now paper white, my lips ruby red like I'm wearing my wife's lip stick and my hair was fucking green. I looked like a clown. Blood gushed from my eyes and actually soothed the burning pain from the chemicals eating away at my body. The rain begins. The cold water bathing me in its riches, washing my skin cleaning me all over. I take off the suit. I'm cold naked and alone. A shiver runs down my spine and catches me off guard. The rain feels good on my skin. I had been reborn in the fire and the mixture of chemicals and it showed my true form my new self but I didn't know this at the time. I take one more look at myself I want to go home.

I arrive at home and the door is open a jar. I try to keep to the shadows and avoid any mirrors so I don't frighten her or myself. I make my way down to the hallway trying to be as quiet as possible like a mouse steeling cheese from a trap. I hear the TV she must be in the front room so I turn the light off slip into a corner. My wife screams "who is it?". She can't see me. The shadows created by the TV cover most of my body only revealing my feet. "I know your there so just come out my husband will be back any minute!" she shouts. I too scared to step out into the light and let her gaze upon my face. What would she think I look like a fucking clown. Then lightning lashed outside the window and I look at her and she knows. She's seen my face and she was horrified to look at me so I don't think, no thinking anymore and I step out. "…hello honey" I say nervously. Her hand whips up too her mouth and tears gush down her face. She can't bear to look at me I'm a monster something God spat out in a hurry. Why me I think to myself but no tears run down my eyes. Out of nowhere she does the only thing she can do and runs away from me.

In the panic and my pain I find some pants and a coat and chase after her. I try to keep my distance not trying to scare her anymore. The rain has picked up water gushing down my face the wind blowing down the streets at me trying to keep me away from her. If I could only talk to her explain what happen then she might see that this is no big deal that we could one day get over this. She keeps on running. Faster. By the end of the night around 1am I chase her to the bridge connecting Gotham to the rest of the world. The unknown. I've never been outside of the city before. I was too poor and too scared to leave the city I knew nothing else. This was my home and it'll always be my home. I manage to catch up with her somehow. I grab her arm and with all her strength she shakes me of and were staring at each other. She petrified shaking her head left and right not wanting to see me, not thinking that this is real. Were on the side of the rode, the traffic zooming past us splashing dirty rain water all over us. She starts to walk away from me up against the railing. I know what is about to happen the same thing that happened to me. I take one last look at her face and see sheer horror is blasting out, the tears causing the dark eye shadow to run down past her cheeks. I reach out trying to stop her meeting the end but she takes one step too far and my arm was not long enough. She falls like I did and keeps falling and falling until she slips through the fog and I can't see her anymore.

Is there some divine creator protecting her like he did me. No there isn't. She's gone forever and I'm alone. No emotion comes from me. I'm silent calm and I don't know why. I look over the edge and know what I have to do.

I jump and fall one more time.

I'm falling. The wind shooting past my face as the strong breeze of death approaches. I'm not thinking just falling ready to meet my end and then something hits me. Something big, strong and fast and now I'm falling in the wrong direction. "NO! NO! NO!" is scream with all my anger and hatred but when I open my eyes I'm back on the bridge. I look around for any sign of what happened and I catch a glimpse of him. How dare he rob me of my death it's what I wanted I have nothing to live for. What kind of life would I have a disfigured monster a myth roaming the streets of Gotham. I'm kneeling in the cold rain water and I start pounding the ground with my fists. I stop and they feel numb, blood trickles down them. In that moment I had an epiphany. Why would my life be spare and not hers?. I should have died twice in one night but something saved me. Saved me and not her. "WHY ME!" I shout. Not understanding the events of that night. I realise it was just one big joke all of it one big joke. The thing that created me saved me from death and I was reborn. A new person a new mind a new life. Nothing is the same anymore everything is predetermined, destiny creates a path that we must follow a roller coaster ride turning and weaving in ways we don't know so why not have a little fun along the way. I hear a siren and then two men step out of a car. They take one look at me and see the blood over my hands gleaming out on the white background of my skin. There was not much light on the bridge it was hard to see. Then a truck shoots past and they get a look at me. In a panicked state they pull out there guns and shout " get down on the ground!". I lick my lips and I grin forms on my face. I'm smiling for the first time in 10 years. " HA! HA! HA!" slips out of my mouth and in the cold darkness of the night I say puzzled "why so serious?".

( PRESENT DAY )

A dark room is present with only a small shade lamp in the corner casting only a little light. It looks run down like no one has lived there in a long time. Like a place a bum would spend a night before realising that there got to be somewhere better. The window on the far wall is completely destroyed letting in all the wind and rain in it wants. Two men are in the room. One is tied to a chair and the other standing in front of him. Smiling. The man standing is wearing a cheap purple suit that looks a little rough around the edges like he never takes it off. He tall but slim like a bird leg and is pacing forwards and backwards talking to the man in the chair. He's got an old rusty knife in his hand that he waving around like a composer directing musicians. The other person is different. He looks more like a bat than a man. A beast waiting for the right moment to strike. No emotions are leaking from him. He's silent listing as the other rambles on without a care in the world. " we've been doing this dance for years bats. I kill a mayor you lock me up. I take a kid you lock me up. I kill a robin you put me in a comma". "For years now you've probably been wondering who the hell I am. Why I do what I do" the man standing up says. The man sitting down reply's " don't care why you do it, all I know is you're a murder a thief and God dam crazy". "look who's talking" comes from the pale man in a sassy accent. "come on now bats I've opened up for you, told you the ins and outs of my tragic past how I was reborn in the fire of hell and how you created me and saved me from death. So in a way it's all your fault ha" the Joker says. "shut up" Batman says. The Joker moves closer to batman, so close their noses are practically touching. A big grin appears on his face. The Joker whispers to Batman " come on now, you must have had a really bad day to become this, just like I did, so… why down we start at the beginning"

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!


End file.
